My Reelity

I’ve believed, up till now, that I’ve stopped dreaming of you.

But last night’s dream told me otherwise. Its been a long time since I’ve remembered my dreams and last night I find myself plunged into another story sequence, only that I know I’ve dreamed of this setting before. Its a camp of sorts, looks like one of those OBS/Survivor training ones. And I’m either a trainer or trainee. Its been a particularly tough day, and I was just bidding goodbye to the group when I saw you walking by.

You looked just the way I remembered, and your group members gave me a wide berth as I approached you. We made some casual small talk and I think you were on your way back to your quarters. I had this urge to hold you there and then, but all I could muster was a slight graze of your bum and a hand around your waist, and even so it was only for a few seconds. It was as if I remembered that we shouldn’t be seen this way again, and I slowed the pull away of my hand to make the gesture as innocuous and innocent as possible.

I noticed you didn’t seem to mind, and I wondered if you had crave for my touch as much as I have craved for yours again. After you were gone, I walked around a bit, trying to make sense of time and space that I’m in. It was as if I’ve taken over my dream-self fully now, and I roamed the camp a little bit more.

Random faces greeted me, but their conversation to me made no sense, and I can’t really recall much of it now. Then I heard gossips about me and you again and people trying to figure out what exactly was our relationship. The chatter even brought mention about my dream-self’s meeting with you earlier and about how I seemed to be quite intimate with you…

Then everything came to a freeze and I entered into a particularly weird loop. I recognise this looping of events; it only happens when I attempt to change something in the dream and fail, and the loop will bring right back to where I can try again, and will keep looping till I succeed or give up trying.

I got woken up in the middle of the loop, and that made me forgot what the hell it was that I was trying to remedy in the dream.

You looked sad in the dream. I hope you are happy in real life, babe.

A Japanese movie that is directed by an all American and which won accolades from the Japanese themselves, to me is a must-see.

But as war movies go, this one is not your typical wham bam thank you mam fare. In fact, you might find it a little underwhelming as you sit through a good long while listening to the soldiers pen their thoughts about the war before the real action starts. And even the real action is kinda muted after the initial bang.

But the movie does have a few under lying messages, and for me they don’t really come out to the fore really until the movie is over. Then as one makes his way back and contemplate over the movie, the messages will hit home. Either that or I’m really dense. 😛

And I think basically, the movie is about Japanese honor. And how warped most have perverted that concept. But really, the true followers of the Way, are Koboyashi and those who understood and followed his ideal. He fought to his death in the most seemingly unheroic but necessary manner; for he knew that his mission which was doomed right from the start, was to delay the inevitable as long as possible. Between this and dying with “honor”, surely he has chosen the higher ground.

“I will always be in front of you.”

Kept his word, he did.

P.S. Thanks Celine, for the company! 😀