My Reelity

“Just be yourself”.

And with that she probably gave me my hardest role yet. Towards the end of last night’s class, we were asked to do improvs, and the caveat is that we have to be ourselves.

And as easy as that sounds, I realised is not easy for me at all. Cuz, gee whiz, I’m not really sure who I really am. I guess its because somewhere along the way, after donning so many different characters in and out, I don’t really know who the real me is anymore.

Also, in pursuing this path, I have, on the onset, deliberately set out to do roles that are typically not me (Yes, I’ve even gone to the extent of playing a woman :P). So its been deeply ingrained in me now to try my best not to play a character like I’m playing myself. And now that I’ve become so used to it, I’m finding it hard to play me.

The situation in which we have to improv was easy enough. I’m the older man, she’s the dramatically younger woman, and we’ve been flirting like mad before, but now she has a change of heart. I have been in situations where I’ve been rejected before and my partner was pretty enough for me to imagine her rejecting the likes of me, so the circumstances of the scene was hardly an obstacle.

But yet, I couldn’t quite get into character – me. Or at least, I didn’t feel that it was me. Then again, maybe it was me, but I just don’t recognise myself anymore. >.< AARRGGHH. I think I need to see my doctor in IMH again.

Will the real Vinceli please stand up?